Ep 156 - "Iyanla Vanzant Said What About Black Women?!?!"

hello welcome to your Auntie's kid never I'm Auntie AK and I'm here with Auntie Farah Auntie Nana and Auntie Chade how

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are you guys thank you good good good stuff guys as you know as I said last

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week we are in our new home at live at Garden studios now listen we're loving

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this space it's so inviting it's so cozy we're having fun all the facilities are here now if you want to join us join the

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podcast family or the creative family we will be sharing information as to how

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you can book your space here that's podcast based content creating space music recording space and office space

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as well and Studio space and Studio space we will be getting back to you with those details very very soon

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um Auntie Farah take it away oh

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[Laughter]

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we've done something today we have a lyric oh it's making a comeback I do like this

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one I know right I'm not good so we're gonna do okay each person a question and

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if you do not get it we can throw it out okay okay that's fine right all right we

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say that yeah right okay I get it

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I get it all right first question is for Auntie Nano okay what was Mary J Blige searching for Real

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Love correct next question is for Auntie AK a real love anyway

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Kelis can teach you how to wait Kelis can teach you how her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard but she'll have

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to do what I don't know throw it out there me meet

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me teach you what I have to charge correct

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yeah okay okay [Music]

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Jodeci will give up their money house and Cars For What

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for one hit of you correct so far Auntie Sade is in the lead with two Auntie Nano

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is just behind her with one and Auntie AK has okay next question auntie auntie Nana

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what shouldn't you do if Monica just wants to be left alone

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ah call her on the phone throwing it out there maybe

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take it personal correct don't take your personality

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okay why was Sunshine Anderson's man tapping

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her shoulder to get some sex yes

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I will accept that I will accept that answer Auntie charday um what does Rick

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Ross do every day make moves

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is it everyday I'm hustling yes

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yes you said Slick Rick you know oh Lord that would have been it was so wrong as

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well but yeah I was just thinking how does Jay-Z reintroduce himself

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my name is okay

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[Laughter]

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DMX dated three girls with this name a Brenda B Leticia C Nicki D Kim

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you guys don't get this what do you mean I don't understand the question DMX dated three girls with this name

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a Brenda B Leticia C Nicki D Kim

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I'm gonna throw it out there I'm gonna take can I go you both put your hands oh did we okay okay

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um well I would like to say God no you guys at the same time you both said at

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the same time one two three I said Nikki we both said Mickey okay

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[Laughter] what time are the girls leaving snoop's

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living room a a quarter to three b six in the morning C half past four D

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midnight six in the morning correct I knew that one and at the end of that round Auntie charde wins Auntie Nana

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comes second okay once again comes last

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I'm surprised you didn't get the DMX one I just forgot

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I just forgot yeah I think that you'll be better at the more hip-hoppy ones though and that was

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lyrically correct people Auntie Shadow who would you like to welcome to the family so I'm working in choma brown to

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the family who basically which camera look at she

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um basically runs a store called the Africa store um which is uh kind of selling not kind

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of selling just selling um African um produce and ingredients and all that kind of stuff fruit veg meat stock all

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that kind of stuff and she's just launched and she's done this launch despite her mother being very angry with

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her and saying and be very disappointed that her mother's I mean her daughter is going to be selling groceries so I just

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wanted to welcome her to family to say yes we need these types of things keep going like really appreciate it um and

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good luck on your journey good luck uh the Africa store.com I think we could

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maybe put a link in there wherever and uh so but Africa was okay not a c okay

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and Instagram yeah yeah I've seen it yeah oh okay yeah yeah yeah sure yeah in

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fact I think she might have done something where I've done something I've seen her yeah what have you heard guys in the streets

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in the hip-hop streets so just a quick one we spoke about um ebony K Williams uh in conversation with um Ianna Van

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Sant last week discussing dating options and preferences just wanted to expand that um iyanla was

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on The Breakfast Club and she was speaking about black women masculinity and the conversations around black women

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masculinity and she said black women are men in skirts these days like we're too

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aggressive um trying to take the place of men in the relationship and we're removing

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men's ability to man basically she's not the um only person that says that we

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know that the red pill Community thrive on this narrative but what do you say to that can we have can we expand in this

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conversation in any type of way to the thought that black women are now men in

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skirts so when she said that by men in skirts did she go into why there are so many

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black women that are like leading in their households did she discuss that or was it just a

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shaming of I'd like to say didn't watch all of it just took the headline I ran

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with it yeah I think it's a more

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well-rounded conversation that you have to have in terms of why there would be so many households that

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are being led by women and not men and that's the discussion but to then just

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be like you know black women are just men with skirts on that you're just you're disgusting for casting's sake no

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that's not okay it's stupid I'm sick of people like that that's it I

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don't even want to give it too much I'm just absolutely sick of that because

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firstly if you want to get technical not women wear skirts

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we have trousers there's that but also like like we just don't need this

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rhetoric isn't it like we can why is it if you're a successful woman we had we say this all the time if you're a

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successful woman if you're an independent woman if you're a woman who matches her man on some sort of level

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you are referred to as masculine you know you're trying to be a man or you're not allowing a man to be a man well what

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is a man we can get into that as well like what is what's the definition what makes a man a man we can get into all of

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that can't we so yeah she just needs I'm not here for that kind of [ __ ] bored of it I'm so over her like I've been over

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her for so long um I just think she's really problematic for the culture do you know what I mean

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and she would have us um she would have a couple of hundred steps back I think if she had her away um yeah

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I'm not I'm not here for it and it's just like it's it's very kind of she clearly knows what she's doing she's

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trying to get like you know this type of response and stuff and people looking at her again and what she's saying and her

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problematic methods um yeah I'm not here for it apparently she's not the first person to say that

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Bishop TD Jakes apparently said uh he received backlash last year that we

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are raising up women to be men and that women are applauded for being tough not feminine

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um he noted that women today act think and behave in masculine ways uh and

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again just wanted to see it's not just her saying it as I did want to say it's not just the owner who's leaning into that conversation

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um I think it's everything that you guys said that the world it is defined what is that but I think it's that

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conversation that we had the other day about being successful takes aggression and aggression is aligned with

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masculinity rather than it just being an a behavior that human beings Express to

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take themselves forward in something successfully um and it is really looking at what it what it means to be a man what are those

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definitions in this world where women are not allowing themselves to be oppressed by the patriarchy and

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redefining what it means to be a woman we're doing that so men really need to calm down we understand it's a shock

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it's we understand the shift is you know troubling to you but you really do need

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to take a moment and a Beat instead of projecting your insecurities on women who are finding themselves you lot

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huddled together and find out what it means to be a man because you cannot just say that you know you know because

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you you put stuff up you know put the Ikea shelves up and because maybe you're the muscles in the house protecting the

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woman from danger then a woman now has to then continue to just act like she

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can't function without you in her in her space or in our presence we really need to

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let us do what we need to do to figure it out you guys need to figure it out and those people who are communicating

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this narrative need to stop because we don't have to what does feminine femininity mean as well if we like all

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of us here are in clothes that would not be allowed to be worn back in the day because we're showing you know wearing

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trousers are not wearing bustiers and of course corsets and fainting at the site

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of any type of uh we're talking opinions oh my God

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you know what I mean so it's enough is enough but men really

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really do need to sit down and you redefine what it is and then maybe we can support your narrative in some type

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of way or discussion but you guys need to figure it out and women stop apologizing for these guys

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yeah it's annoying it's annoying that we keep on coming back here again and I think it's the terms like just like a

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just making us seem like we're men and actually it's not that it's not I'm not

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trying to be a man I'm just literally trying to be the best woman that I can be and if I'm leaning into masculine

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energy sometimes or feminine energy everybody should be doing that men also can do the same

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nobody should be penalized because you're just using the two sides to kind of get what you're after really it it

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annoys me that this is still going on and that Auntie is doing this it's awesome I used to love her you know you

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used to love her you know it's me too and I think it'd be interesting to understand that what the um what's it

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called it the science of it is because if human beings do the same thing which part what's the boundary between

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it being solely the domain of a man and solely the domain of a woman because if we can both for example build a shelf

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that means we're using something that before men said that was only in the domain of a man only men can fix things

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because that's what men do but if it's that's not the case if women cry men cry women get angry men get angry all the

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things that are just then if you cry then you're feminine if you get angry then it's more masculine but if we both

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do the same thing what's the rule how do we you know I guess that's like the mechanisms of society that's what you

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decide that's the your cultural norms that gets informed by practices and we're changing that yeah so In This

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Moment yes it's gonna be everybody's in a bit of a flux yeah find out what what their role is but we don't have to

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resort to shame really and that is a that's a shameful statement that you're just trying to

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keep shame on us yes is that of order so I was on YouTube

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as always watching another YouTube documentary which was about

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um it's called the downfall of the BBL and this is obviously a theme

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the surgery talk just gets me every time but anyway so this is a really good

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documentary it's like 15 minutes long and she is going through the celebrities

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that are now changing their bodies so it focuses on Blac Chyna

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um and her regrets of her her traumatic procedures as she calls it there's another influencer called winter who I

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didn't know before but she has a couple of million followers and she really documents everything like her reducing

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her bum and then she did a few procedures her bum gets reduced a bit

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and she still doesn't like it like the shape so you know that kind of toothbrush shape she had that it's like

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your hips come out yeah oh okay so it's not like a cocoa okay

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she had that shape and she didn't like it so she tried to change that and as they did it it's like it reformed her

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bum so her bum kind of changed shape as well it's crazy it's like you need to watch it to see it even when she's

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explaining it and then she shows the pictures and he's like oh wow like the surgeon went mad so she's going through

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all of that and trying to change her life similar to Blac Chyna and then there was another person Dream doll also

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went through four different surgeries to reduce her butt but she got those early injection shots that people were doing

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so they had to take out all of those substances as well um and again so we have touched on this

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before but I just wanted to now that we're moving away from the BBL or if you

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guys think that is this the end of the BBL era in itself and do you think going

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towards Sofia Richie's style that kind of skinny 90s look is better or just as

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harmful I don't think it should be better I'm more of a naturalist in

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quotes so I would I ideally would prefer that people didn't resort to these

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extreme surgeries um to alter their body for style for fashionable Styles

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um but I don't know I wouldn't say necessarily then going skinny and 90s look and all that our body shape

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shouldn't be a fad it shouldn't be aligned to a trend or a style or a fashion it should be this is your body

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and how do you get how do you live the most healthiest version of yourself which is ultimately the safest version

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of yourself isn't it if you're healthy and that's how you're existing that would be my ideal it shouldn't be Bops

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too okay now it's a 90s so it's skinny now this it's big tits no it's big bums now it's lips and all that type of stuff

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our bodies are human bodies that are born to us so that we're born into or

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whatever we shouldn't they shouldn't be a fashion trend so that's what I think I don't know

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um the part about is it did you say better or something like that I think it's equally dangerous

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because you've got people having surgeries and going to places that

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aren't necessarily uh has have the best track record but then if you on the flip

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side of that look at back in the 90s and 80s and that sort of thing you have people doing quite dangerous things to their body to be skinny so I think

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they're both harmful and I think as we've discussed many times the media has a massive role in that you know the

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images that they put out there one minute it's trendy like you said to be a certain way and then it's no longer trendy so you've got these women running

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around trying to be the person exactly perfect body perfect shape all of that stuff which they don't you know might

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might not necessarily naturally be and then that becomes harmful so

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I don't know that that's kind of my thought on it it makes me quite sad on both areas because you've got people

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with serious serious Eating Disorders as a result of trying to look a certain way

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and be a certain way and you've got people that go and get surgery and they die so I don't know

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yeah I just I wish people would do um it you've got to let me rephrase this I

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think people have to do what makes them happy but my whole thing about that is do it healthy do it in the most safe way

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because no who am I to tell someone what makes you comfortable and how you should appear but I just want people to be very

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careful about how they're approaching any of those things and just understand that if you chop and you change your

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body too much it does have a very very drastic change on what the inside of your body looks like your heart and

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those things can't take too much surgery can't take not eating can't take a whole bunch of things so just bear that in

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mind yeah yeah yeah I think I kind of agree I'm all that I'm more kind of like let's stop with the judging of people

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more than anything um and accepting I think like we have

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these fans and stuff because people I don't know like fat size certain looks

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um and then it becomes popular and whatever um and then also as well

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I think like it's more to do with the mental do you know what I mean because

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there's like there's there's tons and tons of success surgery stories as well do you know what I mean and like um how

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it's helped people and how it's kind of like transformed their lives and all that kind of stuff so there's there's

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that too but I think like it all starts with your mentality like do you know what I mean like because then also as

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well like some people they get addicted to surgery and they start doing things that they you know they don't necessarily um need it's you know do you

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know I mean kind of thing it takes on a form of its own um so I think it's more I'm more kind of

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like in that lane like where is this coming from why do you want to do this is do you know I mean is it going to

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cause more harm than good I don't think it inherently causes more harm though do you know what I mean do you think

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in the process of like getting surgery there should be some formal counseling yeah yeah that should be like within the

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requirements that used to be early days that I think in the earlier days when it was less frequent or less of popular

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there was more of a conversation about the whys you're guessing I think so I I believe so I think now it's become like

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a commercial Commodities like just business business money it's about that accessibility isn't it yes because if you think about fillers and stuff like

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that there's a real problem at the moment where a lot of these clinics are unlicensed people yes and they're doing

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these treatments and people having very very negative reactions to those treatments yeah because it's unlicensed

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yeah and those people aren't about to sit down anybody and have any kind of therapy with them so it goes back to the

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overall British government in terms of like the the plastic surgery

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um the requirements and the people that control those lawyers those laws it goes back to them and then making sure that

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people are safe if that's what you're going to do yeah it's the business aspect of it you

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know like just it continues seriously being sold and advertised as I've just

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been looking at various different things um now I'm getting all of the adverts

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all of them are coming to me so yes that does happen it's also like you know the before and

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after pictures and it's it's definitely enticing when you're going for and it I'm thinking oh my god with a young mind

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like at 20 getting bombarded with these I would definitely be like I'm going to

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save up and get something done may not go under the knife but you know now there's these whole liquid

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um non-surgical bbls and I was like at how my shape was there was one girl she

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had literally it was like that was me at 20 so the dimples going in and she got it filled out I was like I would I would

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pay for that definitely it was a grandfather I would pay for that but now that's all I'm getting served is you

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know sort out your chin take the fat away I know right yeah no this really like

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feeding into our insecurities and advertising to us yeah that actually shouldn't be allowed yeah if you can't

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advertise sex toys through Instagram and Facebook I think surgery should be a

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part of that it should be banned hmm um I agree that's interesting yeah that's

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definitely interesting I do I do I don't um I know it's different it's a different area but I do think like

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although I I didn't need to but I definitely had friends that back in the day they wanted to get their meat their

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boobs done yeah you know what I mean and that was before social media but like it was just like I guess it's on the TV and

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in images but like I do I think it's

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I do think there are just some people I don't know if it's the majority I really don't that just want to change

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themselves and that makes them feel better about themselves and I don't

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think there's any harm in that I don't either but I do think like with the NH if you go down the NHS route here in the

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UK then you you're talking to a doctor who deems whether you're essentially fit

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enough for this um would you call it procedure so we do have that in a sense

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but if you're private it's private and you can't regulate it yeah and for Speed if people are like I just want to do it

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they're not they're going to avoid that yeah but it's expensive though do you know what I mean because so it's it's there is a what'd you call it it's a

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privilege as well like you know I mean like it's not any everybody like if you're poor you're not or unless you're

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doing or lay away yeah there is yeah yeah

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where you can create a card so it's not necessarily like you when you go to pay Clan as an option there's another

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section of clana where is where it hasn't got a path now you can go onto it

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and you can create a card specifically from clana and you can pay for anything so you probably can

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oh my gosh yeah but there's people people have been asking online whether you're not you can so

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I reckon you can and I think there must be some sort of Regulation you don't have to be a partner with cloner to make

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a call on a payment process and also as well like wait because you can't can you get that here

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you can't get it here right you could have to go to Turkey or that's the closest place I don't think they do them

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here um I think there's very few places but yeah usually how it's been set up as I

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said I've been going down the rabbit hole is there's an office in Holly Street so loads of them you are getting

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your financial yeah you're getting your finances done yeah yeah and then they sort it all out and then you can fly to

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Turkey um so it's part of the package isn't it yeah and then like when you get back you'll go yeah you'll have a

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consultancy here as well and it's sometimes in that space when you come back and then they see something's wrong

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and then they tell you to go to the hospital so yeah it's it's a it's crazy it's crazy these

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people are not medical professionals either in these these Brokers I don't know it's interesting I think

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not to kind of obviously have bodies had like a huge change for me but it's we're in a different Trend now so like people

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are not gonna like the trend for before anyway like I just feel like there's a part of that too but yeah

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um speaking of uh qualifications and medical people not being qualified also tens of thousands of doctors and nurses

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will be able to train on the job under plans to tackle NHS Workforce to Auditors so um School leavers can

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practice medicine without a degree I saw that [ __ ] would you trust the doctor who's not done the usual five years to be a doctor no but you're still learning

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I'm gonna go be a doctor on an apprenticeship type of training yeah you'd be an apprentice it's a much

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anticipated NHS Workforce plan which will see the number of Medics trained by the apprenticeship route ramped up significantly who came up with this

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Tories exactly one in ten doctors and a third of nurses could be trained this way in coming it's cheaper isn't it it's

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cheaper than paying the junior doctors and the nurses what they deserve yeah that turns yep um yeah

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I don't know I think I need more details on I can see how it can work because I I

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mean there's lots of different things not everybody is a surgeon yeah sometimes it like nursing some doctors

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don't do too much other than know more about what to prescribe yeah exactly yeah

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in an apprenticeship setting like teachers where there was a it's not

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about anymore but there was a teaching plan where you could become a teacher by being on the job and they would teach

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you that way and you'd go into uni like once a week so if we were allowing teachers and there's loads of teachers

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that went through that scheme I could see how we could have medical professionals doing it as well so not surgeons but I could see you also have

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to be a surgeon that's what I'm saying I think people immediately go to they're online but there are some doctors who are not

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surgeons yeah and they are dealing with life-threatening [ __ ] right they're not surgeons I don't want that person

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treating me off the street you've just come I don't even know if you've got your gcses brav you've just finished

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school and you're coming and you're telling me oh here's I'm gonna sign this medication

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I know we have no faith in the HS and the government structure but I would like to think there'd be some sort of

27:40

tiered or hierarchy system I'm still not sure how I'd feel knowing that I would have assume I really would hope that

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it's not like out of school in training in your first you know your first you know work on the job is okay diagnosis

27:54

patient we're looking for death you know what I mean like I would assume there's going to be some sort of maybe next year

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you do this there's a tiered way of I think they're trying to put a plaster on something yeah literally what they

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should be [ __ ] doing is paying these people what do they do make their jobs appealing yeah because that's what they

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should be doing there's more than 124 000 vacancies across the workforce

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but this is the thing it's just like okay right so as you're saying they're

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not paying people properly they're not um would you call it they they're people working under insane conditions we don't

28:28

have the workforce here we we have a racist immigration policy um student fees are freaking

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skyrocketing do you know what it means and you think that just following these School Leaf is into the hospitals is

28:42

going to make a freaking different no what you're going to do is you're going to create a culture where people make little mistakes over and over again and

28:49

we're going to suffer you're going to keep if you keep prices um paying people low wage they're going

28:55

to continue to leave anyway then we're going to have unskilled people or not well skilled enough treating us imagine

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that's it imagine I left school watching a CV I was a nurse for last year and now

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I'm a computer graphic designer whatever it's just like oh it's a nurse yeah um and what I what I'm saying is like

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what this woman um I think is Miss Pritchard who is uh uh let me find out

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who she is she's from notorious I think anyway um she said what university isn't right

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for every school leaver and some young people want to start earning straight away so this recognition that University isn't right for everyone but yet this

29:31

has been the narrative for Success that if you go to UNI you're a more qualified a more employable person but all of a

29:37

sudden when it's convenient for you guys now University isn't a thing though they didn't want everyone to go

29:43

together yeah they don't want everyone going to University they want worker bees that's

29:48

what you understand that but it's thinking about getting employed in the right role then it's like oh where's you can actually agree I can see it I can't

29:55

lie I'm actually like not against this as an idea at all especially now the

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world is changing and how every there's going to be lots of young people who aren't going to find employment very

30:07

easily with AI so I could see how actually being skilled and trained up into the medical profession that's

30:15

actually going to be helpful because not everybody does have the capabilities and the academics to sit there and do the

30:21

theory thank you but there are lots of doctors lots of doctors who actually say the

30:28

amount of theory work that they do isn't helpful they would prefer way more on

30:33

the job experience than spending that's not going to be on the job yeah I think there also needs to be a level of theory

30:40

in that [ __ ] there has to be all right maybe if you're going to be on the job

30:46

rather than qualifying in five or ten years or whatever it is then you've got a 5-15 because like I I I saw the

30:52

long-term plans and it was about 10 years before you before you became a

30:58

qualified doctor like literally like you're either going to be doctor so-and-so or Mr for a nurse it was six

31:04

years and to be a doctor it was 10 years exactly so you get to get away with

31:11

treat not only working under poor conditions not having full proper training as your other colleagues but

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then also being paid paid less for a longer amount of time also as well which apprenticeship programs have done well

31:23

please right no it's just so fast electricians builders

31:30

yeah most of the trades have but they haven't done that with medicine and also this would take away the elitism with

31:36

medicine because you're studying for so long you need money and most families are funding you while you're doing it

31:43

and that's the other thing so actually having working-class people being able to get trained and skilled up to me it

31:50

kind of makes sense well it's just to anybody that doesn't

31:55

want to go unique technically it probably would be but if you reduce the

32:00

the uni fees you know what I mean then you're going to get those people anyway do you know what I mean like you're

32:06

going to get that people anyway so this again I agree that this is probably gonna put a plaster on a freaking problem that they created what I'd like

32:12

to know what I mean I would ask Rishi tuna the same question that someone asked him quite recently are you do you

32:18

have Private health care right right do you um

32:36

how about doing both how about fixing the [ __ ] NHS like you're supposed to pay the workers what they're supposed to

32:42

be paid improve the conditions that they're working under and then maybe look at a way to get more people into

32:49

the workforce in an apprenticeship way because yes recognizing no not everyone does do well

32:55

in the uni setting but not compromising also the education that you're going to get in this apprenticeship there has to

33:01

be like a really tight tiered system and though and as we know everything across the board has been underskilled

33:07

everything is being fast-tracked so that's why I put an apprenticeship we can't necessarily trust it because because they [ __ ] up the world

33:13

everything's trying to like let's get them in just get them in let's get them in if there's a really tightly run and

33:19

curated apprenticeship course I might not have a problem but it shouldn't be the resolution to the [ __ ] that you

33:25

don't need to fix in the first place when I say no apprenticeships to be a politician well I guess the fingers The Grooming

33:34

that takes place to be a politician is kind of a bit because they need to

33:40

brainwash you yeah sanitize your family and everything it's

33:45

a it's a crazy one I would say that probably is a an apprenticeship scheme

33:51

behind closed doors I mean yeah it shouldn't be the solution but I'm not opposed to it but I don't trust the

33:57

government to run I don't trust them to do fun and a lot of people being liable and sued and all this stuff and the

34:03

problem is they won't care you see like if the level of deaths that um from a

34:08

result of this they will not care if it raises they won't care because they don't do anything that they're supposed

34:13

to do they just they will fob it off and say oh but they'll come with some next statistic that says it counteracts what

34:20

they're saying the actual you know oh 100 people have died oh but 100 people have said but there's 50 people that have jobs

34:26

[Laughter] um is there anything you guys want to

34:31

pick up yeah I want to talk about um uh the petition that's been launched

34:36

to save Brixton Academy for closing forever um so Brixton Academy as you know has

34:42

been closed since the Stampede that happened last December and a sake right

34:48

um and uh it was a result it resulted in two people dying and it was it was down

34:55

to like poor security and their mismanagement of everything so the police now want to close the academy

35:00

forever how do you guys feel about that bro

35:07

I mean I'm from Brixton right so I I have real real mixed feelings about

35:14

this I can't lie but my having worked done an event at that venue as well

35:22

I think it needs to close at least for a bit it needs to close I don't know if that this forever means forever do you

35:28

know what I mean like and I think that Brixton um definitely has other venues or they

35:34

can you know do you know what I mean um but yeah as as a as from what I've seen

35:41

firsthand nah it can't run it can't run and I think it's a dishonor to the

35:47

people that died and the other people that suffered injuries as well to to keep it open do you know what I mean

35:53

like it's it's disgraceful what happened that day and you can't just blame the um

35:59

the people do you know what I mean because they're saying they're pushing the stuff and if not like events don't happen there every other week do you

36:05

know what I mean like how is it you're in a position do you know me where you're not managing crowds like if you

36:10

can't manage crowds and you shouldn't have uh yeah exactly then you're then you can't run you you lose your license do you

36:17

know what I mean you have to be able to do those fundamental things so and you're putting people's that's the side

36:22

of events that people don't like to um focus on or care about I I think you

36:28

know I mean as a very professional like you know I mean the health and safety side if you're not going to help with safety your event can't run it really

36:34

can't so like I said I won't go into detail but I've done events there firsthand and we were put in a situation

36:41

where we were at risk and it was people in the event like it's crazy do you know

36:46

what I mean to think that that could happen and then to have this happen in the same year wow

36:54

should change than the building because they're saying they want to tear down that's my thing that's that's where I'm

37:01

at it should be because everything that you've explained that's down to the management of it isn't it it's management it's your suppliers yes

37:08

the foundations of the building because that's what they what they want to take it down and probably put up flats or

37:14

something yeah maybe but maybe even maybe it is even the design of it needs to change maybe where the entrances and

37:21

exercises

37:27

yeah I've been in venues and I've to me I this is where my head goes because I

37:32

am health and safety this is where I I will look at well why did they do it like this if this if something happens

37:38

how is everybody getting out yeah where's the fire exit yeah it's this Landing like that that's how I think when I go to these venues so maybe

37:44

that's what needs to happen there it needs to have a change of management and it needs to be redesigned yeah yeah I

37:49

wouldn't mind it going being there may be four times

37:55

yeah probably about four times I've been to Brookstone and I've always thought it I didn't feel safe just the sheer amount

38:02

of people and when you come out and you kind of like spill out onto the street it's just always felt like this isn't

38:07

the best place for a venue anyways is it because it's been in Brixton and it's it's the end it's like

38:14

for me the easiest thing is when uh when you can go into a venue like you're not

38:21

going in little streets I don't like that it just doesn't feel safe and especially like how do I get out easily

38:28

and I'm coming out onto a narrow Street to go out into a main road again it just doesn't feel like it's in the best place

38:34

yeah plus the Troubles of Brixton as well like and I wouldn't mind if it goes

38:40

but I get it I do think London does have a problem with venues though like we don't have enough venues and they keep

38:46

on closing them down and turning them into Flats so that's one side but I don't mind Brixton Academy going

38:52

as an aside yeah I have memories of Brixton Academy so

38:58

it's a nostalgic oh it shouldn't go but it is that like coming spinning onto the street as you've always said there's no

39:05

crowd control at all um and the other thing is the um maybe it's

39:11

something that we might need to get into I don't know where that leading story is about security firms that are dodgy and

39:16

things like that and those and those that have got connections to alternative groups and stuff like that

39:23

where no matter wherever the building is if you have that those particular security firms or those type of people

39:29

running those that part of your event it's never going to change no matter where the venue is

39:35

so there's something about that that needs to be hard to do I have always been like run by gangsters this is even

39:43

just having a venue as an independent having a venue there's a high chance that somebody is going to try and do

39:50

some type of extortion you exactly so it's a hard one that's a part of I guess

39:55

a nightlife in effect is why it's now turned into big business so that they can Shield that it's not fair in any way

40:02

but that's what can you do I'm not expecting the police the biggest gang to

40:08

really get involved in running doors and making it safe because Brixton there's

40:13

no way that the police didn't know what was going on on those stories yeah because they're saying the Mets have lost confidence then they're calling for

40:19

the venue to be shut down maybe they'd I'd tired of the nonsense I don't think it's that they're tired of the nonsense

40:25

I think they don't want no ties to the nonsense yeah they're that too yeah I think someone someone's gonna make money

40:31

off this you know what I mean that's that's the unfortunate thing do you know what I mean but I just can't two people

40:37

have died yeah do you know what I mean so apparently this seems like a third person is still in critical condition

40:42

yeah yeah so wow it's kind of an insult and I think it's

40:48

really insensitive do you know what I mean I I feel quite strongly that this is sensitive to be honest

40:54

that it should go that is that they're doing this campaign to keep it oh to keep okay do you know what I mean like

41:00

like people have done and you're thinking about a bill like come on yeah I feel you on that yeah actually because

41:07

yeah because how do you argue it's a building it's not your father's building either it's not even that you know I

41:12

mean whoever's just like I said there's nostalgia in it for sure you know we get the Nostalgia but there's a reality to

41:19

the problem here yeah yeah Brixton kind of has that like activism to try and

41:24

hold on to things Brixton and yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we understand the bigger

41:29

problems of gentrification versus people actually dying because of mismanagement of an event

41:36

yeah all right guys let's get into

41:42

aunties aunties aunties

41:50

okay hey guys we're working in collaboration with web magazine as their new Agony aunts solving their reader

41:55

dilemmas quick disclaimer we're not professional experts or qualified therapists so please these are just our

42:02

opinions and as I always say some of these have been edited down I think I'm gonna become a qualified therapist yeah

42:08

because you want to have that yeah

42:29

um okay guys this one's from the actual this is from our inbox before we get into the um the

42:35

magnet ones hi aunties I'm a new fan from Canada and I'm going through every episode I hope it's okay to place a

42:42

question I grew up okay guys go for it it's okay

42:48

I grew up super Christian and now I'm not so strict and my boyfriend who does not identify as Christian he believed in

42:54

God but isn't religious in spite of that difference this is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in we have

42:59

similar interests similar values we love spending time together and we are planning to get married one day as I've

43:05

mentioned I've never been in such a healthy relationship before and it's causing me to be anxious part of me

43:11

keeps flinching waiting for the other shoe to drop I don't know such happiness and healthiness could be achieved so

43:16

effortlessly so effortlessly it's freaking me out I have also never been a successful sorry I have also never seen

43:23

a successful relationship between people of two different religions um and I'm so worried that this

43:29

difference will cause a divorce in the future I just want to know if you think my anxiousness is valid trauma-based or

43:35

do you think a relationship can work if both people don't agree on how the universe came about have you ever felt anxious in a perfectly good relationship

43:43

okay that's sad I think I think you're you're you're definitely your feelings are

43:50

valid for sure for sure for sure for sure I think you probably need to talk to someone hun do you know what I mean

43:56

like um I don't I think you're projecting a little bit

44:01

um and in my in my humble opinion I think that it is perfectly okay to have

44:07

if you haven't had an example of a healthy relationship to have these kind of anxieties of course because you

44:13

wouldn't know do you know what I mean so that's perfectly fine but I think in terms of like relationships working with

44:20

like different uh religions yeah absolutely I've seen many many many like where obviously where I'm from Nigerian

44:26

do you know what I mean they don't really believe in atheism so you're either a Christian or a Muslim but you

44:32

have to be married so and yeah and it works out all the time do you know I mean it's not it's not necessarily like

44:38

a massive massive deal so if that gives you some comfort hopefully um but yeah talk to someone talk to

44:44

someone probably on your own own to kind of work that through and then probably bring in your partner as well

44:51

um I think this is so normal and I can

44:57

totally remember the feelings of palpitations of if this goes south I

45:04

don't know what I'm gonna do like just that like ah and then thinking oh I'm

45:10

gonna [ __ ] it up because that's what I'm gonna do I'm going to [ __ ] this up like so all of that anxiety yes I think

45:16

that's I think almost every person I've spoken to that's in a long-term relationship

45:21

remembers the beginning of the relationship feeling like I could die if this ends and I'm going to ruin it I

45:29

think that's very normal I think it's actually probably a part of being in love it's just the emotion of it

45:35

um and the examples yes I think you still just have to have your fundamentals how

45:41

the world came about there is no definite so however you want to arrive at the world is here I don't think those

45:47

are fundamentals to end a relationship but your actual your life fundamentals your financial

45:54

fundamentals having a family fundamentals they need to be in alignment and religion doesn't need to

46:00

play a part in that if that's if that's okay and you both are seeing it in different Lanes no problems there

46:07

I don't even know if like speaking to somebody I think this is the part of being a relationship and everything you're feeling is perfectly normal so

46:14

that is how it goes and if it ends so be it it's like it's how it goes like

46:20

chalk it up to I had an amazing time with another human like really try and

46:25

ease up on yourself yeah I think the main thing for me within what you were

46:31

saying is that he believes in God because I think it'd be harder if he didn't believe in God yes

46:36

and you do that's harder but if you do different religions it can work we've

46:42

all seen it work so it you know focus on the positives you're in a very healthy relationship it seems like you have

46:48

you're on the same page in terms of where your life is going to go and I think that's a positive so you know

46:53

don't be too concerned about the religion part of it you know you can you can come together you can work that out

47:00

yeah I think if you mentioned trauma if you have trauma then I'd say I'd be inclined to explore that trauma with a

47:06

professional as I'm sure they suggested um and if it's just anxiety like just you're just a bit scared of it all going

47:13

wrong then there's a normality in that there is some thank you from for

47:19

watching and listening all the way from Canada share it in Canada what's up aunties right now my bills are

47:25

not having a husband to pay them it's probably my biggest dilemma

47:31

he's 27. that's it that's a dilemma Shane she got

47:37

bills and no husband to pay them your sister's tired she said you're 27.

47:42

CC I don't know what to say to you because we're all tired

47:50

I'm tired too you're not alone if that's any company yeah um your bills are not having a husband

47:55

to pay them is that something to explore so you that we were looking for CeCe you want a husband to pay your bills so your

48:02

situation is you need a man to eventually be your husband who's rich enough to pay his bills and your bills

48:08

together so that's that's the mission set yourself a plan I think set your goals and targets and start taking them

48:13

away how you get there because that's the only way maybe because I don't know if you're just sitting there saying I need my bills played on me I don't have

48:19

a husband are you actively trying to find a husband who can afford you and himself and potentially children because

48:26

you know that might be the extra 27 yeah yeah you can come up with a plan plan of

48:31

that um

48:50

who are interested hi aunties I got my first boyfriend when I was only 13 years old and when I told

48:56

my mother she took me to the doctor to get birth control no Convoy about sex or nothing and I was only 13. at the time I

49:03

didn't even want to have sex with my boyfriend but I felt like I couldn't tell him no and that it was expected of me a convo with my mother would

49:09

obviously have made me understand that you're never obligated to have sex with anyone looking back I Feel Like My Mother wasn't there for me especially

49:15

since I told her as soon as I got a boyfriend and she met him the very first day that I was actually spending time with him so I was very open and

49:22

transparent and never hid anything from her I'm still angry at her for this but I've never told her is this something I

49:27

should have a conversation with her about or should I just forgive her and work through it on my own if she doesn't

49:33

understand it may create further distance Lizzy 28 years old

49:38

oh if it's Weighing on you

49:44

then I would believe you'd have to say something um but again I don't know the nature of

49:50

a relationship with your mum whether conversations like that go well or you've tried to do that before

49:57

um I know personally having raising some things with my mum that had bothered me in the past hasn't always gone well in

50:03

the immediacy but upon reflection and maybe follow-up conversations it has helped us and we are a lot closer than

50:11

we ever were when I was up until maybe my 30s even so

50:17

so you think you got closer through you talking about from me actually biting a bullet yeah and sometimes not

50:23

questionable biting a bullet just blurting it out because I couldn't hold it in so for I couldn't hold it in for

50:29

any longer and I was but I very much raised I was I raised myself in that way

50:34

to be to think that it's best not to speak I felt like I couldn't speak not that I was told not to speak but I felt

50:41

like I couldn't speak so that's all definitely been a problem for me throughout my whole life so when I started to find my fitting and being

50:48

able to find my strength in speaking up which I don't find easy when I did do it to my mum we we battled but then we came

50:55

out the other side and we are closer for it that's not everyone's experience I understand but if it's this is weighing you down

51:01

you might have to explore having a conversation with her I feel so I think I think that would

51:07

probably be the best step forward especially if you're holding some types

51:12

of resentment to what took place I think you kind of got to share that actually I think that's probably the

51:19

best step forward um it's a hard one though because at the same time you know if you're if your

51:26

relationship is kind of okay and this could rally in a really bad way I get the hesitation as well but I do feel

51:33

like that is a big thing and not too uncommon I have a friend that has been through similar with her mum

51:39

um and they did talk about it and but they had a very good relationship like that anyway it was

51:46

just her mum really fought the best thing was to go on the pill and actually

51:52

taken into consideration her age as she was 14 they needed more conversations and it

51:58

probably was a conversation to be like you should probably wait until you mature a little bit more but I

52:04

hard one yeah I would say speak to your mum because even though it's really

52:10

uncomfortable it is Weighing on you that's why you've written it because it's waiting on you and even though you

52:16

might have a decent relationship with your mum this thing's always in there now I've had to have certain uncomfortable conversations with my own

52:23

mum about certain things and I'm I haven't always been able to say them all at once it might be like I'll raise this

52:30

bit and then we'll have a conversation and it'll be weird and it will be all right and then later I might raise

52:35

another bit like and me and my mum are really close now and I feel like if I didn't have certain conversations and

52:40

let her know how I felt about things we wouldn't be as close as we are so it's uncomfortable but you you know you want

52:48

to have a relationship with your mum by the sounds of it I think you need to raise it and it might be like you said it might be a case of her mum was just

52:53

like I don't want anything to happen yeah so let's do this and then with that she wasn't the type of mum that she

53:00

could talk to her child about sex and and that stuff so have a combo with your

53:05

mum you're you're it's totally acceptable for you to feel some type of way about what happened to you

53:11

um and you you just need to get that off your chest really I think yeah I agree I

53:16

think um yeah you could definitely try and have the conversation and see see what is I

53:22

mean I the hope that I'm getting from what you've said is that she took you to get

53:28

the contraception so it wasn't like she didn't want to have a conversation about sex or didn't want to address it or

53:33

whatever kind of thing it was just like almost maybe like half a conversational the action that would come from a conversation do you know what I mean and

53:40

stuff but it sounds like you also have some other things to deal with like the situation with a boyfriend pressing you

53:46

to have sex and you've been feeling like you wasn't ready and stuff which is another conversation on top of that

53:53

conversation with your mum so maybe you need to talk to someone do you know what I mean to kind of because at the same

53:58

time as much as your mom has the responsibility for her part in there there's another bit there that's not

54:04

necessarily her responsibility but as a result it's because of her perceived action or inaction do you know what I

54:10

mean so you need to work through that yourself to get a result there and it doesn't necessarily sit her at her door

54:16

so I'll just say that um but yeah I think definitely have a

54:21

conversation but obviously as you know know it's been said it might not necessarily go the way that you want it to go and that's okay and that's normal

54:29

as well kind of thing because different Generations or then you know yeah yeah and the initial combo yeah defensiveness

54:36

yeah yeah could sit on it and actually think maybe

54:41

you're able to do that yeah in a different way and I think like as well as you get older you realize that your mum's just a woman in it yeah you said

54:48

that before yeah I mean we're human we make mistakes don't we because we're like all the time because what I was

54:53

going to say is that in that and this is not to make an excuse but having a teenage daughter who's

55:01

presenting a boyfriend in that moment for a mum or for a parent could be super scary and

55:07

for whatever relationship at that time your mum might be like I don't want to upset her I don't want to lose my daughter teenage years or those

55:13

precarious years where some parents really suffer with their children through those teenage years because the

55:19

hormones or whatever everything goes awry and it's really difficult so she might have just been like let me be that good mum that or you know the supportive

55:26

mum that's not imposing all my projections onto her and let me so there's lots of stuff that you might uncover in that conversation

55:33

um and you might not didn't maybe didn't realize that your throat it's actually sending your daughter out to the walls

55:39

as it were depends on what kind of conversation did you let her know that you didn't have that follow-up conversation to say yeah you know I feel

55:44

like I don't really want to have sex so what that conversation was never had so she might not even have known or even thought okay you're cool you're my

55:51

daughter's all right in this space I don't know yeah she could have thought it was different maturity yes definitely

55:56

and also her mum could really be feeling guilty and doesn't even know how to talk to her about it as well so this may be

56:04

freeing for both of you yeah you just never know hey aunties one of my girls just went through a bad breakup

56:10

in March she spent April crying and that was just at home however May arrived and I don't know what happened but she is

56:16

back on the streets hey first I was happy that she is out more because it's not only in regards to men and parties

56:21

but also gym and be more active in general but it's been nine days and she has already slept with four different

56:27

men and this is not like her should I mind my business or should I have a talk

56:33

with her as I feel she may regret her decisions once she Pro she has processed the breakup Rebecca who's 30.

56:42

yeah celebrities yeah my home go far off be like okay

56:49

okay four guys four guys yeah

56:55

you might wanna just spread them out yeah

57:00

and I can say the same too far like is this everything okay

57:05

so no judgment person no judgment but I think as a friend you can check him yes

57:11

it's about checking in because yeah as long as she's cool and she's good and she is

57:17

a high-pitched

57:27

I I just no I think you need to definitely check yourself first like

57:33

what like what what is my issue with this yeah yeah you know what I mean and making sure that it's not your issue do

57:40

you know I mean your staff obviously check in with your friends um but it's just a light check-in though

57:46

yeah you know what I mean just like yeah right yeah as you said I think that's

57:53

very important make sure that it's not your issue yeah yeah you're jealous because she's 13. yeah yeah

58:04

yeah sometimes like I don't know if this is this is true of the girl that her friend but you know like if she was in a

58:09

long-term relationship and then like you suddenly I'm [ __ ] free yeah it might

58:15

be that that is true because she's looking after herself in all the other ways that she's supposed to yeah so maybe she's now just like actually this

58:21

is the best thing that ever happened to me and it's also how where and when at what point of this of your friend's life did you meet her because it's also this

58:28

could have been her from before you yeah and when I say this could have been her it's not a judgment it's more like she

58:33

might just been very confident and enjoyed sleeping with different guys at at her whim so you met her you know

58:39

maybe you met her in a relationship or in a different way because you only meet people in different stages of their life and personality so you really is

58:46

definitely check yourself lightly check in yeah thank you for light checking I don't I don't think it's an intervention

58:52

in any like don't try and get all the girls together and be like we'd be noticing you've been doing then at that

58:58

point we need to have a conversation don't do that yeah

59:03

and also there's elements of there is definitely something to do okay what's

59:09

her emotional but as your friend as your brother now is she emotional is she doing things to the excess that see seem

59:15

harmful there's also things like that if they're drinking involved are there drugs involved is there extreme Behavior

59:22

that's accompanying that behave that kind of Reckless Behavior that comes with a breakup that some people kind of self-destruct and yeah self-harm yeah it

59:29

does is this Behavior coupled with some of those alarming signs that's a different type of checking but it's

59:34

still a light entry because even that she might recognize her behavior as being harmful to herself so you just

59:40

have to step lightly yeah just just be in there yeah really but yeah don't don't go in heavy-handed with any

59:47

judgments hi I recently moved to London from a different country and one thing I have realized in London is that body

59:52

count matters which is insane where I'm from nobody would ever even ask this my

59:57

ex of six years never asked me and I never asked him however it seems like it matters a lot in London and after

:: 00:04

getting to know girls in London I've been told that 99 of girls in London lie about their body count everyone is

:: 00:09

either on three or five my body count is 12 which I don't feel like is bad so what should I do one tell people to mind

:: 00:16

their business when they ask as this is not normal to ask where I'm from to ask where I'm from two tell people the truth

:: 00:22

even though I most likely will be judged on something everyone is also doing but just lying about three lie like

:: 00:28

everybody else that's from Frieda who is 29. bro you're too big to be worrying about

:: 00:36

whatever people think first of all to be honest but I just don't think like I think you the people that care about

:: 00:43

body count are not for you right do you know me so if that comes up for the issue that's your red flag do you know

:: 00:48

what I mean just get out there it's it's not an option it's just not an option it's just they're just not mentally on

:: 00:54

the same wavelength as you at all so I don't think you should I don't think you should

:: 00:59

um I don't think everyone should know but I don't I don't think you should lie I don't think you should lie yeah yeah

:: 01:05

the lion part just seems stupid yeah and then that also seems like you're also playing this game with them as well I

:: 01:11

think it should be a cold hard that's a huge red flag yeah and also like who's

:: 01:17

counting like really and truly I remember when I was younger like okay I've kissed one boy when you're younger

:: 01:23

like it started counting I don't know what right now oh no who cares her age because that

:: 01:30

does seem like such a teenager do you know what I guys do

:: 01:36

age group still thinking the same thing because they still hear it it is stupid it's like the [ __ ] most stupid thing

:: 01:43

I've ever heard of and it's none of your business it is none of your business how many people I've Banks it's got nothing

:: 01:49

to do with you and I don't care about you either but it just seems like the weirdest thing to come up in conversations

:: 01:56

that care about the body count you if she has a low body count remember that one from last week where he thinks he

:: 02:02

knows the most yeah

:: 02:08

no better and it's okay for him hundreds but you couldn't know my God don't lie

:: 02:14

and if they ask yeah don't lie but also just tell them to do one if they ask hi aunts so we hired this girl six months

:: 02:20

ago when we hired her she said that someone stole her identity and keeps stealing her money I thought she was crazy my manager thought she was nice

:: 02:27

and wanted to hire her so we hired her around the holidays because she was willing to work all holidays so other

:: 02:32

employers could be off we had planned to let her go after the holidays but when management came they wanted to keep her

:: 02:38

it's been six months now with her constantly saying she's been hacked somebody stole her identity missing her

:: 02:44

paychecks getting new cards every other week only for her to find out that is her mother who she lives with that is

:: 02:49

still all her money and messing with her her mother is a narcissistic drug addict so she said to confront her would be

:: 02:55

pointless she doesn't know what to do Jordan 26 years old that did not go the

:: 03:00

way that I thought it was I thought the girl was going to be like the girl was Alicia wow right oh my her

:: 03:09

mom wow and Mum you know wow he's a drug addict on top

:: 03:14

so I mean girl come on man like why is your mom got access to you or anything

:: 03:20

yeah I don't know because this is a because

:: 03:26

it's not your it's not actually your issue Jordan right okay yeah oh to advise her yeah

:: 03:34

okay yeah well okay maybe set yourself at someone else's address I don't know

:: 03:40

like do you know what I mean like but so your bank staff doesn't go there or PO box or something I don't know like you

:: 03:46

know what I mean I don't know how you can do it but like just like everything to do with your identity like clap it

:: 03:51

down like you know what I mean like everything like even on your phone have passwords on passwords do you know what

:: 03:58

I mean like everything like seriously so that just can't just can't have access and don't tell your mother about any

:: 04:05

changes that you're making as well like you just have to keep like secrecy on a

:: 04:10

hundred like wow I don't think Jordan likes her

:: 04:15

[Laughter]

:: 04:38

I mean well they can't like if it's an ongoing I don't know she would have to

:: 04:44

file a police report and start you know I mean to be able to get them money back because they can't the company can't

:: 04:49

just pay her wages again because she said so yeah you have to require a reference number and all that kind of

:: 04:56

stuff and that will be putting your mum in Jeopardy I don't know Jordan

:: 05:07

spinning all her teeth just tell us maybe do you have to be friends of

:: 05:12

her at work because why is she feel so good that was horrible yeah it's a horrible situation for her to be in

:: 05:17

imagine all your money gets clapped and it's your mum and your mums all right guys like really she's got to try and

:: 05:23

move out as soon as there's got to be that yeah you've got to have your own place that's pretty much it but boy dear

:: 05:31

aunties I have a very big dilemma that could ruin my whole family Dynamic my big brother is cheating on my sister-in-law she is the mother to my

:: 05:37

three beautiful nieces whilst I love and look up to my brother very much and my loyalty should be with him she is my

:: 05:43

family too should I tell her abimbola 30. you know her brother her big brother is cheating

:: 05:50

on his on her sister-in-law she obviously loves her sister-in-law she's mother to the three beautiful nieces should she tell

:: 05:57

sister-in-law or hold on brother she needs to tell the brother that she knows

:: 06:02

that she's on to him and that um she's not happy about it and if he doesn't stop it she's going to expose him to

:: 06:09

their parents or their family but I don't think that she should tell her sister-in-law and I say that with sadness

:: 06:17

is it blood's always thicker than water no it's not them because he's been The [ __ ] like but I'm telling you I know

:: 06:22

that what you're on and I don't appreciate it I think you're a horrible horrible individual and look at the family that you're going to blow up for

:: 06:28

what for Pom-Pom no oh well that's what it's for is

:: 06:33

yeah sometimes it's needed it's the brother I would definitely not tell my sister-in-law definitely not but I would

:: 06:40

talk to my brother about it I think I think I haven't talked to my brother about it it kind of all depends I may

:: 06:47

honestly be like I don't want to get involved anyway shape or form yeah I don't know I I would have to talk

:: 06:54

to my brother obviously um but I would give him a time limit

:: 07:00

I would have to tell it like I don't know I'm just the people having my fat oh mate I'll just I'll I'll be

:: 07:08

I wouldn't be able to sleep yeah I just wouldn't oversee or I'm gonna have to find

:: 07:13

the mistress I'm gonna have to find a mistress and and and and maybe not this obviously

:: 07:21

just jokes but threaten them but not this but yeah like just just just jokes

:: 07:26

just jokes but like yeah I just I would have to I'd have to find a way for it to end like I just like it might have to be

:: 07:34

extreme but it would have to it would have to be like I'm on to you guys yeah and I'm not going to stop until this

:: 07:41

stops yeah because and I think they would believe me I feel like even just the idea of it like I'm thinking of my sister-in I was like well I can't tell

:: 07:47

her but yeah I don't want to tell her because I don't want her whole world but that would affect my whole relationship

:: 07:53

my nieces my nieces and like I'm around the fact like it will just make the anxiety that it would give me I'll be so

:: 07:59

it would come out with my body yeah I'd be so angry with my brother for doing this so put me in the situation yeah I

:: 08:06

would be angry and I'd say my deadline and I'd definitely go and tell mum dad whoever the significant family members

:: 08:12

that would make him feel shame about it I'll tell them to so this is going to be a problem yeah see I always think the

:: 08:18

more people that know the more likely you'll get when it gets out but then it has to go out I'm leaning way more

:: 08:24

towards the mistress and getting her but if you get her she might be one of them ones like that make bear noise as well

:: 08:29

and cause trouble but she wants it to come out yeah exactly

:: 08:52

okay so imagine you go to the mistress right and the mistress is one of them Galilee that's going to be like oh my

:: 08:57

God I can't believe it I never knew about this [ __ ] like [ __ ] that [ __ ] and then she goes to the baby mother she goes to your sister-in-law what about

:: 09:03

that then it's all everything he's trying to do is contain it I would talk to my brother first and say look this is

:: 09:09

what I'm gonna do so you better do this because this is what I'm gonna do and you know I'm a bomb so it's everything's

:: 09:15

gonna be chaos yeah absolutely everything's gonna be chaos so you better sort it out yeah

:: 09:21

it's like okay just adding on to this but if you

:: 09:26

do you don't speak to your brother and he's like listen I'm actually going to leave oh God

:: 09:32

so you better leave it now bro I've got to see my friend sister-in-law

:: 09:39

face to face and keep lying to her on your behalf sort it out then no there's no pausing in this situation you've got

:: 09:45

to have thingy okay come let's go straight away yeah let's go let's go let's go together if you like serious

:: 09:52

dear aunties I've just joined hinge and my matches have been matching black men are truly beautiful my best friend's

:: 09:57

brother has a match to me just to give you a little context I have fancied in four years I know how this sounds

:: 10:05

um but when his he and his ex broke up I was jumping for joy doing cartwheels my

:: 10:10

best friend has pretty much said that he's a no-fly zone and is off limits to all her girlfriends but until he matched

:: 10:16

me on hinge I didn't think he liked me we have been talking non-stop for two weeks I do feel bad I never hide stuff

:: 10:21

like this from my best friend should I make him tell her instead of me or should I just see how things go I don't

:: 10:27

want to make things awkward when I go around her house and he happens to pop round for Sunday dinner Shanice 25.

:: 10:33

years old Shanice

:: 10:43

this is not this is this is not the thing is yeah I think like

:: 10:49

what my issue is with this year is that your friend has told you that he's no go

:: 10:55

so she's saying that for a reason so you need to listen to your friends really and truly and you need to tell her

:: 11:01

immediately immediately it you know the thing is the two options

:: 11:07

is basically I'm gonna be with him or I'm gonna tell her and we're gonna be together what about just leave him alone

:: 11:13

what but it's just been two weeks chill like like you could it's you're not so involved that it's going to be hard for

:: 11:18

you to walk away your bridgen has said don't date my brother that's your friend right your good ass friend she said no

:: 11:25

she's their best friend but then you're taking the piss your best friend has said you cannot date my brother your

:: 11:31

brother her brother's matched you you can't say no you can't like just cut it off what's the problem I don't care if

:: 11:36

you fancy Tim but what do they get on what are they really get sister has told her no for a reason you know like you know your people yet I know some of my

:: 11:42

brothers and let me tell you this yeah there are certain ones of them not a name and no names but they're certain

:: 11:48

one to them I would say no if you want to know no that's that's my answer no why not no

:: 11:58

it's just a simple because when the [ __ ] hits the fan yeah which it will and then

:: 12:03

you're gonna be crying on my shoulders about my brother and then I've got to pick sides that's my brother at the end

:: 12:08

of the day in it let's not do this messy thing yeah at all there's literally like five

:: 12:18

billion men out there like you don't want him okay she said she's been matching oh yes

:: 12:24

she does the matches have been matching so then you can I'm glad to say because I the hinge hasn't been hinging isn't

:: 12:30

always hinging let's not go on like hinges though okay fine but she said the message

:: 12:43

billions of other men yeah yeah this is your best friend's brother there

:: 12:49

are other people okay out there yeah and there are other apps yes it's not

:: 12:55

just to be fair she shouldn't even have to tell you that's off limits yeah it's off limit I don't

:: 13:21

in my corner where if you look really get on but for me it's two weeks and I've if you really are that concerned be

:: 13:27

upfront and just say yo I matched your brother and I like him what's that because there's also that conversation I

:: 13:33

have got friends right that have matched with the males in my the single males in

:: 13:39

my life and they've said to me right look I've laughed yeah and that's the thing I think also what's the worst because really and truly let's go on

:: 13:46

what's the worst thing can happen because if you really believe that you can handle this brother that's supposed to be off limits be upfront of your

:: 13:52

bridge in and say this is what's happening I want to go for it if she's like all right I'm not getting involved

:: 13:58

if she puts down ground rules if she gets angry deal with that in the immediately if you're so concerned deal

:: 14:03

with it be honest with your breathing because she's your best friend but be honest because you're doing some sneaky thing Brent has told her my brother is

:: 14:10

off no but but that's a bit of general statement now Something's Happened where she's matched and she's getting on with

:: 14:15

him so she feels something tell your boyfriend you're really taking a two-week um

:: 14:21

attraction like a focus on this guy if you're really taking that over our best

:: 14:28

friendness yeah I've got a problem with that I've actually got a problem with that I just don't think like I could

:: 14:34

respect you in the same way I honestly don't I think it's off limits it's actually absolutely off limits and if

:: 14:40

I've actually said it it's off limits because because yeah do you know what I mean because not my brothers but other

:: 14:49

people that I know yeah if I know a guy and I'm telling you that guy's off

:: 14:54

limits yeah do you know I mean if he's close to me he's off limits because of XYZ and then you go there you're a [ __ ] to me you're absolutely Dicker

:: 15:01

with me he's going to do to you what he's done with every other guy why I'm telling you he's off limits in the first

:: 15:06

place

:: 15:30

let's say you date him and he [ __ ] you over right and then I've got to deal

:: 15:35

with you or not have to you can't come around anymore because my brother you can't stand the look of him yeah I mean

:: 15:42

they were never like then that was what was supposed was it worth it it's not worth it two weeks

:: 15:49

that means there's other matches exactly for the other matches do you know what I mean

:: 15:55

for me I would say I hear everything I would say just tell your friend and just be honest and see whatever happens

:: 16:01

happens what's the name again Shanice Shanice don't be Hardies man guys

:: 16:13

by the way guys if you want the artist to solve your dilemmas please forward them via DM to at web magazine

:: 16:18

underscore your Dynamics will be also published in the web online magazine now what's made you sad mad and glad ladies

:: 16:24

what's made me very glad and I've just seen it as I've gone on to Instagram our friend Shani B is having a little baby

:: 16:31

and she just had a baby shower and she looks amazing it's made me very very happy I've only got one glad and that's

:: 16:37

Sean lovely Sean is going to be a mum and she's going to be an amazing mum and she looks stunning and beautiful and

:: 16:43

gorgeous and everything so yes sir that is for my shiny B oh

:: 16:51

um okay so I am sad that people are still following and supporting just

:: 16:57

pearly things and her Channel especially black men and yeah it's still raging

:: 17:02

she's still out there I'm mad there is a new clip from um King riches and he is going in on a

:: 17:10

black woman again yeah literally this one where he tells her to leave yes I'm

:: 17:15

apologizing yeah like steam was coming out of my ears and I wanted to do like ankle typing but I just had to stop

:: 17:22

myself like it I was also mad at all the women who stayed in the room yes as she

:: 17:27

got up and quietly shuffled out They carried on the show yeah they carried on the show after she left I thought this

:: 17:34

was a joke the same one no this is this is that this happened a couple of weeks

:: 17:39

ago yeah I thought it was the same clip going around from before you know no no no wow wow

:: 17:46

you know what the thing is though because there is that but also they

:: 17:52

didn't know that they were going on King Rich's show they thought they were going on just pearly things and they were

:: 17:57

going there to confront Pearl what and this isn't even the first case of this I

:: 18:03

I saw three other people saying I was set up in the same way the booker says you're going on to just pearly things

:: 18:10

show you're going on to pre-game you get there and then King riches is sitting there and he starts being an [ __ ]

:: 18:17

like he always is to black women so why didn't they get up and this is the thing it's like why don't they just get up and

:: 18:22

leave as soon as he starts I mean even though she didn't leave she was was still apologizing and then he's like get

:: 18:28

out but he okay to be fair not even to be threat to her but that apology that I

:: 18:34

saw I thought it was someone else oh my God I was just like she's being cheeky with it yeah

:: 18:41

but she was doing it on purpose he was making out like she was ready yeah because he wanted he wanted that

:: 18:48

reaction and she was just yeah yeah I feel magic Judy get him out security security I was like this [ __ ]

:: 18:53

[ __ ] but to be fair I don't know because people could watch when we was on the show and think the same thing like why did we sit there

:: 19:00

no one was attacking you like that no one attacked us nobody told us to get out of the place she stopped some

:: 19:07

misogynistic men from saying the word [ __ ] so I think this is it we didn't have that experience

:: 19:13

okay I'll experience okay and I'm glad that Abram preached I

:: 19:20

love their channel it's brilliant on YouTube everyone preached um they did a video highlighting

:: 19:25

um just pearly things had a whole expose done on her by a content creator called

:: 19:31

Brittany venti I urge everybody to go on to Brittany's Channel and watch that it's just so brilliant she just she she

:: 19:37

disgraces her it's the only way to put it and Abram preach obviously they're on almost two million followers on YouTube

:: 19:43

and they highlighted that video so it's just it's just great any type of

:: 19:49

humiliation for just pearly things I'm always for I know yeah I know

:: 19:55

yeah like Hannah Pearl Davis yeah um okay my sad oh God

:: 20:03

you know what yeah it's the Beyonce spoilers you know yeah

:: 20:09

it's too much have you been able to avoid it I've been trying I've been trying to scroll past I've been like

:: 20:16

like looking a little bit do you know what I mean like yeah it's made me a little bit sad

:: 20:22

um my ma I don't really have a mad you know do you know what I mean um but my glad is that I'm going to be oh when

:: 20:30

does this come out I would have done it already yes I'm happy for our speaking to existing my successful first talk of

:: 20:37

how to do events for beginners where are you doing it

:: 20:43

um I'm doing it for a PR Company I will tell you next week oh the name of it just to make sure but yes um yeah so it

:: 20:50

should be a good one um yeah excellent well done excellent well done um very cool thank you I'm sad

:: 20:56

my favorite earrings broke and I'm alola jewelry please please I need the Africa outline map earrings somebody somewhere

:: 21:04

send me a pair or send me a link to find a pair because I can't find them anywhere they're my favorite earrings

:: 21:09

and they broke I'm very mad I'm back in the gym guys not as regular as I'd like but I am back in the gym

:: 21:16

stop putting your gym towels on the floor it just it it hits me it makes me so mad people standing on the gym towels

:: 21:22

it's sickening it makes me sick I do that I don't know yeah they stand on them when

:: 21:30

they're getting ready on they put them on the floor so that you don't stand on the dress just put your flip-flops on or

:: 21:36

something no but sometimes your feet are wet and then you dry them sit down and dry them no okay

:: 21:44

I was imagining something else that's what I was like where are people putting their towels on the floor but I get it

:: 21:50

yeah the gym towels on there yeah okay no on the floor all right Little

:: 21:55

Mermaids oh sorry my glad is Little Mermaid um I've seen it it's amazing it's one of my favorite Disney

:: 22:02

um cartoons the real live-action version is brilliant Hallie perfect casting she

:: 22:09

is Ariel forever Ariel forever and ever um amazing my teenage dreams are satisfied oh it's brilliant

:: 22:24

um and that's it guys thank you thank you thank you for watching and listening don't forget we are at our new home at

:: 22:30

Garden studios The Hive that is we're in the hive um we will be sharing details very soon

:: 22:35

of how you can book The Hive for your podcast recording content creation Studio hiring music producing and

:: 22:42

creating all sorts of creative stuff virtual production training virtual production having all sorts of things

:: 22:48

baby more stuff oh there's email for her you'll get all this Garden studios.com

:: 22:55

you'll get nowhere dot IO there you go um we will be back with more information

:: 23:01

on how you can join our Hive family soon um and that's it thank you for watching and listening don't forget to like

:: 23:07

comment and subscribe we're on all listening platforms and we're on YouTube and we'll be back next week bye bye bye

:: 23:14

now peace out