Ep 144 - Not posting your BOYFRIEND on SOCIAL MEDIA isn't smart! Aunties advice session

0:00

um it's Valentine's Day people are always going to be in relationship issues and worries uh someone is saying that help me my

0:07

girlfriend dumped me because I'm super hot but as in they're good looking yes okay

0:13

that's not a reason to be dumped it's not a reason let's get to the Crux of them right all

0:19

right my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for four months oh my god when she started dating she when she

0:24

started when we started dating sorry she told me she doesn't usually go for guys as physically attractive as me which I

0:30

thought was odd she's very cute but not the hottest girl I've dated her intelligence personality and

0:36

character are why I've fallen for her oh things have been great into the last two weeks when she started becoming more

0:42

distant and less affectionate toward me last weekend she went with her single girlfriend to the Caribbean for a brief

0:47

vacation I barely heard from her after she got back but we both have demanding jobs I thought nothing of it she then

0:53

called me and said she no longer wants to be in a relationship and I'm way more attractive than her previous Partners I said had I done anything wrong she said

1:00

whilst on vacation she barely missed me and feared if we continue I'll find someone better looking or Worse cheat on

1:06

her like her last boyfriend I tell her to reconsider she didn't want to and

1:12

that's the end of that it's a weird one because it seems like she's got more horses so what's his question his

1:17

question yeah I guess he's upset because my girlfriend dumped me because I'm hot

1:23

maybe he feels like says it's going to be a thing now well I I do think

1:29

in the nicest possible way like some people don't like to date like good

1:34

looking people yeah because of their attention that they get their do you know what I mean or they might not feel

1:40

that they're as good looking as they are um as well and

1:45

there's some issues surrounding that like if you're like I you know if you're a boy or girl you can get a hell of a

1:53

lot of attention a hell of a lot of unwanted attention people assume you're single more than you are I think as well

2:00

and um yeah it comes with issue it does come with stuff you know but if she's like

2:08

if she's expressing she she don't want to be with you insecurities are way more than you can

2:14

handle and really she's done you a favor yeah it's not that big a deal with literally like she can't handle it

2:20

because if she's gonna put what happened to her in her last relationship and she got cheated on you're good looking you

2:26

could cheat it doesn't matter it really has nothing to do with your looks it's her insecurity but but also though him

2:32

saying that she is not as good looking but that's his issue yeah yeah do you

2:38

know what I mean so that's not gonna make him she's got if she's insecure about her looks that is not going to

2:44

make her feel at all and maybe she believes she actually understands like hold on why are you with me and maybe there's signs that you're showing that

2:50

he's been showing her that you don't yeah somebody like that you can imagine him

2:56

being like you know like that girl that I was with was super hot yeah yeah you're cute yeah exactly people read

3:03

those you know sometimes you guys think that you know you're not you're cute and I'm with you so I'm doing you a favor

3:08

yeah yeah articulating that because they will talk about people being super hot

3:14

yeah and you're cute and you're and then like but you're so nice and he said to her personality you've got a beautiful

3:20

personality I've heard guys saying that you know sometimes no man's not going for that level because it's too much

3:25

headache yeah but we'll go for this group of girls because yeah that's easy to control yeah we know that they're not

3:31

going to get stolen from they're gonna be real grateful and they'll be cute they might you know not enough to that they look like dogs but when they dress

3:37

up yeah nice enough yeah yeah no absolutely you know they're humbly women yeah

3:43

the thing is it wasn't too long after I did actually hear that word but yeah a family woman so that you know men it's

3:51

nothing very good looking men generally you'll see them with fours or fives because

3:57

they can dress up to seven guys by the way please don't feel insecure about aren't you know they just said I'm just

4:03

saying it's a thing like men talk about it okay everyone's looking at their partner like

4:09

so problems at restaurants there's gonna be lots of

4:15

couples like this

4:22

for women that go you know you see them with a guy I'm like why why no but sometimes you have to go not have to but

4:28

like it's okay like with a medium ugly guy like it's

4:34

easier yeah but I just put so medium ugly four five

4:43

same thing but it's just a number but also actually sometimes I wouldn't sometimes I think it's different for

4:48

guys as well because even if they're medium ugly for example yeah they're the ones that might try and punch even more or strive to do more and be more

4:55

promiscuous because they're like I'm gonna prove a point you might think I'm Butters or I ain't got the shape but man's gonna get as much as you can get

5:01

so I wouldn't even trust a middling guy as my partner what'd you think about Butters no I wouldn't go there I'm just gonna go for what I like for me

5:07

personally I go for what I like and that's it I'm not gonna compromise on anything but there's gonna be those guys are into because I think insecure guys

5:13

do more when it comes to promiscuity to prove a point to like to back up you

5:18

know that's the way they present women in the usual we don't necessarily go out

5:23

and cheat but I don't know what we might I don't know what we do stereotypically shop more eat more I don't know I was being stereotypical here I don't

5:31

know what we do what does a woman who feels ugly about herself do in the way to make herself feel better when it

5:36

comes to relationships

5:41

[Music] so it's just so but if you're feeling it

5:48

if you literally are like okay what's the compensation I think it's probably shopping that's what I'm saying you laugh but it's a fact like yeah I would

5:55

say an insecure yeah I would say it's probably shopping or now it would be cosmetic surgery yeah

6:03

and men tend to cheat and get more women if they're straight

6:08

right or spend their money on women each other you don't think that ugly men do that I don't I don't I don't don't go

6:15

out there getting spend more time I don't know if it's necessarily different that's what I'm saying I just don't know

6:21

like if um you can say if a woman's not feeling good about herself that she shops I

6:27

don't know if she does any different does she just not sleep with other people as well

6:34

I don't well in my opinion I would think we're not there yet I don't think necessarily that women

6:40

go and get more dick if they feel ugly I don't know if

6:45

the stats match up well I'm more comfortable like I don't know if it presents

6:52

I think you get the same result but it might present differently or the journey today so like it's just like it doesn't

6:58

mean like you don't get attention it doesn't mean that you don't get options you might not feel good about yourself

7:03

but those options feel good so that you are sleeping with more people do you know what I mean which is essentially

7:10

they're kind of like the same as the guy yeah you might not feel good about himself but he's but he's got options he

7:15

still gets options I see or go out and actively get options I thought another version she might yeah be out and be

7:21

very flirtatious yeah get that kind of seek that instant gratification I don't know I don't know but like I don't know

7:28

why that's part of it as well like sorry where did how did we get that I don't know how we got here yeah conversations

7:35

so basically back to this guy who says his girlfriend dumped him because he's hot it's not just about the fact that you're hot or it could be I think I

7:42

think it is I think it's very would you call it it's a very real thing dating with someone that has a hell of a

7:50

lot of attention like dating a celebrity for example or something like that they don't necessarily have to be hot in the

7:56

traditional sense popular I just have yeah popularity power money do you know what I mean then you're always going to

8:02

get attention and then also for women I think it's sometimes it's like physical attributes so if you've got big breasts

8:08

big bumps big lips do you know I mean that kind of thing that you can also get a lot of unwanted attention and there's

8:14

nothing you can really do about it yeah right so like the a guy feeling insecure

8:20

about that stuff it's interesting because I think a lot of guys they really display some

8:27

really unsavory behavior in those scenarios you know what I mean like it's uh can be like a real Dent to their ego

8:34

like but it's like but you saw me like this exactly I feel like they get more

8:40

controlling yeah I'm not surprised this girl you know you're just you may just cut your losses in it yeah I can't even

8:47

be asked on that there's a conversation I don't know if you saw it um where a young lady who presented a

8:54

picture of her and her partner but the face has now has been photoshopped where they might put an emoji now the whole face is removed yeah yeah

9:02

what does that mean is that insecurity and then other than what was it the other person so the other girl she does

9:08

the same thing she removes them but her reasoning was that women keep on putting her husband on there on their vision

9:14

boards and she's like she does not agree with that she doesn't believe in the juju of manifestation so she now is

9:22

cutting she's not posting her husband anymore so there's okay no no you're

9:29

married yeah no you're married you're married people

9:34

you have no problem showing your husband on no Auntie Charlie in a relationship

9:39

would you show your partner if you were in a relationship what are you gonna do the Emoji Emoji or invisible head I

9:46

can't lie I've never posted anyone no no I don't so is that a conscious thing

9:52

of I'm not sharing who I'm with yeah um why what would you do have shared a

9:59

picture of someone I've been with but they don't it's not been attributed as the fact that I'll move them and I have had a picture of an ex actually I have

10:06

shared a picture of my ex um yeah and then I remember that he removed the tag and I didn't know why and I

10:12

found out why afterwards and I put I kept putting it back and just to challenge him as I'm putting it

10:17

back but I didn't know at the time what his issue was okay it was that he was living with his child

10:23

his child his children's Mother and he hadn't told me those are the things why I do think when people don't post you're

10:30

making it very easy you're making it too easy but then posting with a removed head I think it it it's insane to me it

10:37

looks wild I can't lie it's a bit extra it's silly but then it is like is is

10:44

feeding into oh I've got a man exactly I just don't know who he is it's annoying but like I just think it's just so like

10:51

um but this goes up back to a conversation that we're having quite recently um the women that don't want to hear if

10:57

they're meant are cheap exactly do you know what I mean that's it you don't want you don't want you want to live in a bubble of ignorance yeah and like

11:04

that's the thing I think there is a I think I think it's interesting you know I think you're one or the other yeah

11:09

type of woman really interesting yeah however you want to know or you just don't want to yeah that's it you know I

11:14

think it's that and I thought I think more women and men post your partner for this like I think there's two

11:21

conversations there is a real thing so if you really believe about Juju and bad vibes and stuff that will have that conversation in a second but generally

11:28

for the removal of this constant creeping and secrecy everyone posts your partner it shouldn't be a big deal if

11:34

you know what you're in and it's your suppose if you man and woman you've said we are together we're in a relationship and it's very normal for you to post

11:40

your everyday life then post I had a a friend who had that as a dilemma

11:46

actually I should have brought it to the group last year um that her partner wouldn't post and

11:52

when he did post it was with a thing of like well done and just a name so there

11:59

was no like my girlfriend or babe or Han or it was literally like a post of a

12:06

picture and just you know this is really great that such and such has done really well no why what was their reason

12:18

his reasoning was he doesn't post up partners and he never has and the only

12:24

people that go on his page that he posts up and will give them a title is his

12:30

sister or his brother and you know what you know what that does yeah that kind of like it it

12:36

inserts like this thing in your mind saying you have to earn that position exactly to earn the right yep

12:43

it's a privilege yeah or something like that that's creating that scenario that get the hell out of here that's why it's

12:49

horrible there's no there's no explanation and that's what keeps especially women I think is the very manipulative tool that men used against

12:55

women for sure um it just keeps you in that bottom tier bottom box that you're not worth it

13:01

you're not I'm not showing you and then they say oh because men are hungry shut up it was all that it was all the all

13:07

the common tropes that's just gonna trigger you so yeah you know it's only social media why would you care and with

13:13

you so now you just want the world to see us together like what does that prove to you what does that mean but I'm

13:19

always all of that stuff like your present I hate men on social media that

13:24

present as single exactly you know what I mean they're so slow relationships like on like the thing is do you know

13:31

well I know like I know guys that aren't married yet you will never think that they were exciting their social media

13:37

yeah and because they like the idea they like the attention they like the possibility of the attention yeah do you

13:42

know what I mean but the thing is and then yeah so as we know from celebrities I know I don't know if you can separate that but people will still lust do you

13:49

know what I mean like people are still going to give you the attention if you're a good looking man or the successful man even if you're not good whatever you do that's charming and

13:56

shows through social media you're still going to get that attention so why because they're lying because I think

14:01

there's another girl there yeah it always loves there's always someone else I don't think there's enough not to protect their woman's honor no

14:07

especially if your girl is being like why does that post read like that and

14:12

why am I not on your feed then do something about it to come with all of the excuses um yeah then you know it's

14:19

just not what I do no you're judging then you're seeing someone else or someone who follows you you want

14:24

attention from there yes always giving you attention always in your DMs or you're hooking up with there's something

14:30

so so in that should this be a part of a conversation when you're establishing like say you've gone on a date it's

14:36

Valentine's Day we're getting to know each other maybe it's three days where it's Valentine's we're going out and

14:41

you're exploring the rules and boundaries of relationship should this be a discussion like posting on social

14:47

media how do you feel about it no yeah if I'm dating you I've already looked into social media at this point

14:54

in this way of like life at this moment I think you do have to have the etiquette of what we're doing with our

15:00

socials okay that's a nice way to put it I've been kissing outward thing yeah what do we do do we share so whatever so

15:08

if the person was like no I don't really show what's that when is it okay for someone to be like I don't really dressing I'm redressing shirt Zara I

15:16

love you but this shirt is a problem United he's popping popping and showing that it's not on purpose I'm trying to

15:22

keep it controlled I'm saying so it um if uh the guy was like you know I

15:28

don't actually share on social media what's the rules here you know what the thing is I think like that I do know

15:35

some guys that are like extremely private and they only have social media for their business right for example

15:40

yeah so if that's just business then I can understand that that's not personal right I get that

15:47

yeah I would have yeah but if it's a personal page personal then what the

15:53

hell what's your problem unless you don't post at all I don't have a thing any post yeah do you know what I mean that has to be that has to like

16:00

translate into your whole being existence yeah that it makes sense like you can't be laughing the play

16:05

everywhere but all of a sudden you've got no social media I want to see where that burner phone is yeah yeah it comes

16:12

to me also as well like I'm a girl like if I'm if I like someone I'm putting that in the group chat as soon as

16:17

possible yeah you know what I mean as soon as I get a picture like yeah yeah you know it's Facebook groups like I

16:23

think in America on like City by City it makes sense where they're just like whose man is this well like who who

16:29

knows this man and people all people put in their husband is anyone dating him which I love absolutely love it I think

16:37

at this point in time you kind of got to do that you have to be like okay so here is the person because if you're gonna

16:43

hear about it it's not better to hear in the first month than two years after

16:48

so what about you guys when it comes to spirituality and JuJu and and bad vibes and Karma because there's a there is

16:54

something attached to people doing roots and stuff with pictures and what's your vision because I think she's doing that

17:00

in particular that's that that story yeah just relax man it's not that deep

17:07

if you saw my mood board and it had your man on it yeah we're friends yeah that's a bit weird that's weird we're friends

17:14

do you know what I mean but like that's what I'm saying that's my point with that it's just like these are not women that know you do you know what I mean

17:20

like or know him they're just like the idea of what this represents because

17:25

it's just like you know like you would have a celebrity or a stock a stock image

17:31

um it's usually a stock images yeah somebody's gives you a guidance I mean

17:37

it's not like they're waiting wanting your man in particular those that do

17:42

make sure your man doesn't go for them well it's not for you today I mean yeah

17:48

seriously yeah so it's just like what she was saying was way too much I'm just

17:54

like what you can do is only if you're spiritually inclined or religious all

17:59

you can do is pray that that's not a thing if you think it's pretty big that's all you can do yeah and your

18:05

prayer should be deep enough and hard enough to protect you because they're actually married and you're an influencer yeah so you're putting images

18:14

buy the clothes that you influence on they do your Beauty Brands and now they want a relationship like it's like yours

18:20

that you've presented so getting Vex now that people are putting your relationship on their vision board is

18:26

nonsense anyone who posts their floating man on your mad I'm sorry I think it's

18:31

just weird we're moving the head I think it's hilarious that is stupid no I think it's actually my daughter did it I'd

18:37

kick her like yeah what are you doing no I think it's nonsense

18:43

all it shows me is that you're insecure yeah that's all I can learn that's all I can learn from that it's just oh that's

18:49

somebody else's man or like or you think or you think someone else yeah yeah I feel like you you're the side chick then

18:55

that's somebody else's man because why are you not claiming him first

19:08

but that's not why they are posting it they think they're number one there's that too they know they think that's why

19:15

they're posting it like that because they think they're number one and they don't want any competition and you're not and you're not like because from the

19:21

when the guy is like this is okay for you to present me like this he's no goodie you're both headless man he's no

19:27

good he knows imagine he's like yeah yeah babe that's right that's right yeah I would I would be I would I would be

19:34

discouraged if a man was like encouraged to post that I bet he does yeah I bet he

19:41

does remember when you post that take my head off and she's like oh yeah imagine imagine me sitting there saying yeah

19:47

baby all right then I'm a force everyone slapped me everybody slapped me I I didn't because I suppose I'm in a

19:53

relationship long enough but um when I was posted the picture of that guy that we were in a relationship I had I had no

19:58

thoughts about I'm posting it yeah because we're together yeah as far as I know we're dating and look at him

20:05

removing this tag yeah that's you know yeah that's that's a huge difference because I'm betting you he didn't think

20:10

that you would you didn't really notice and notice and I think I was like and I think I must have said well did I say

20:17

something um oh I can't remember five years ago now I cannot remember I feel like I brought it

20:22

up and he had some lame excuse and I was like but for me I didn't suspect that he was I didn't suspect the situation that

20:28

we were in I really didn't I thought other personal issues but I didn't think it was another woman so that's why I didn't click to what he was doing right

20:34

it was dumb did he try and do one of those like I've changed my settings and sometimes something there was some sort of something like you know those ways

20:40

we're going yeah yeah he had so much only because his behavior didn't I

20:46

didn't think it was another woman I thought he had personal issues I knew something was up I didn't think there was another woman I wasn't on anyway

20:52

back to this conversation establishing conversations when you're dating um how does a woman discuss finances

20:58

without coming across as a fault gold digger I don't understand why that should come across as a gold digger in

21:03

the first place you mean like when they asked how much are you earning like really having it because I think there's this whole conversation about if you

21:09

know people are now lazily saying that you know for example black women all we want a money man and so but then we have

21:16

every right so in my opinion to establish a man's finances and make considered decisions or informed

21:23

decisions when it comes to dating someone but how do you navigate that if you are sensitive to that stereotype that oh God if I start asking about

21:29

money I might come across like I'm all I want is my his money but actually I'm just someone that's about being secure

21:34

and financially my relationship with this these things are important to me and I do want a man who's financially stable but I'm not a gold digger how

21:41

does a woman Broach that conversation questions I think it's crass

21:46

um when like you have a it's generally is young people who go into the like what do you earn yeah I think that's a

21:53

crass question to ask wait but you can use leading questions you could be like where do you like to go on holiday where

22:00

do you shop like there's just other things conversations I'm not gonna lie I think it's Christ no

22:06

yeah if I was a man I would not respond to anybody coming to ask me what am I

22:12

earning I think that's it's good that you're not and that you're not dating but that's what men say as well they

22:17

don't like it is it why if a man is gonna come along and ask you what yeah I

22:24

think I think it's okay I think if you're having a conversation of money I can actually use it no no it's not about

22:29

it and it's just like asking questions it's getting to know each other so this is what I'm saying that you're having a

22:34

conversation and it can get to the subject of money do you know what I mean and I can ask what do you do okay what

22:39

are you on yeah okay he can ask me exactly the same thing and I can say oh I cannot say yeah you know so it's okay

22:45

to ask I think it's fine to ask what are you what do you do but then you would ask and what do you earn yeah what are

22:52

you on yeah I think I I wonder I don't think I've ever asked what money you've made but I don't think it should be a

22:57

thing I I see the slight cack in what you're saying in that it's crashed to say what

23:03

you on because I think definitely definitely in the UK we have this thing with money and revealing what we make anyway there's a little reticence about

23:10

doing that but I think that there's nothing wrong with having an exploration of like what are you what you what do

23:15

you do oh you must be making money or what money did you make because if it is that conversation about because how do you get to

23:21

this is how much money I earn or this is what I want to do whatever that money building conversation is how do you get

23:26

there the thing is the thing is as well like it would save it will save a lot of

23:31

dating people a lot of trouble and a lot of time if people are just honest about this kind of thing in the first place

23:37

anyway because if a guy is taking you out I don't know somewhere fancy and they're talking about their job and then

23:42

what you can do then you're slowly surely start to understand these numbers are not not adding up unless they're

23:49

like unless that you've got a a very um good mindset about money in general

23:55

anyway and they've been saving for years things will not added well things will not add up do you know what I mean and

24:00

then you can make a very informed decision whether this person is right for you or not and vice versa yeah do

24:06

you know what I mean like I feel like I think that um also like I think there is this

24:12

misconception that we still kind of play in that it's like only what the man

24:19

earns that's important and not all the women like men only go for women they can go for any kind of woman and they

24:25

don't care what they earn and everything and as we as we're getting older now and as our societies change it that's going

24:30

to be more and more important as well do you know what I mean you guys having a joint income if you want a certain type

24:36

of absolutely you know what I mean and you've got to have you have to have an understanding also as well it's not even

24:41

just what you earn as well what also I wish we had better conversations about actually how much debt do you have

24:48

exactly do you know what I mean because that's that you have to lead into that I don't think these are okay

24:54

first conversation is that all yours putting it out I'm talking yes as in

24:59

your early dating it's not I don't think it's the right way to establish any type of Union going

25:06

forward to ask somebody what they're earning there's other ways to have conversations where you don't have to

25:11

get into that it is finding out what the person's lifestyle is does that actually work out you can have more leading

25:17

questions it shouldn't go straight into how much do you earn and also finding

25:22

that out doesn't tell you anything how much do I earn I earn a hundred grand but I'm I'm a million in debt it

25:29

doesn't say anything because you need to know a little bit more but it's like you don't end the conversation there then it

25:34

because that question comes I suppose it doesn't have to be as direct but also going around it and removing that

25:41

question and saying that's a bad question to ask when you could get to the answer quite quickly okay I make 100 Grand but it is then those other

25:47

conversations it's a conversation you can't just ask that and then that's it and make a decision based on that

25:52

because I get that I think if you're going to make a judgment on me asking a question then we're not supposed to be together anyway at the end of the day

25:58

like it's just like I can't change the perception or if a guy thinking I'm a gold digger if I'm not you know what I

26:03

mean I'm not going to want to be with a person like that anyway so really and truly personally I don't care what you

26:08

think if I want to know this information I'm going to ask this is like an advice piece for young

26:15

people I would just advise that I don't know don't ask it ask ask more leading

26:21

questions I went straight in if you want to ask those questions I think it's okay like it's down to the person whether

26:27

they want to answer or not and if they're judging you based on you asking a question that can never be a good

26:32

thing and I think if um if you're going to make a decision on if they make 20 grand to 100 Grand to

26:40

whatever Grand and you're going to say well if it's on the lower end of what you're expecting and you make a decision like and that's

26:47

it without any exploration of what they're doing and how they want to build on that because if it's like how much

26:52

you're making oh 20 grand for example I'm saying 20 grand and then there's no like but what your future dreams how do you expect to build on that and stuff

26:58

like that and you're like oh man makes 20 Grands I'm off yeah because you can't buy me balenciagas if it's that kind of childish exploration of that but some

27:04

people are some people are amazing they are young as well childish expirations

27:09

if they want to also as well there's this clip going around on Tick Tock at the moment where this girl uh this guy

27:16

asks this girl um how much you want the guy to be on if you're gonna date and she says 30k and

27:22

she's in uni right and like she's getting so much backlash but she goes to lse she's planning to be investment

27:28

banker that's that's that's the reality for her do you know what I mean so she's getting all this backlash like and it's

27:35

just like so so short-minded in terms of like not everybody who is talking or can

27:42

have a conversation about money is a gold digger yeah just not it's not that's still lacking if you're setting

27:49

your sights on as a uni as a uni student this is what I'm after as a guy on 30k

27:56

there's a hell of a lot of assumptions that that 30k is going to lead to a better life than something that's not

28:02

what she's that's not what she said and it wasn't the Deep insightful thing it was just like a snap question what's the

28:08

minimum that's that's that's that's my point though that's short-sighted you you've set yourself as a target of this

28:15

is what you're after but somebody who may not actually be in employment who's Gathering all of their bits together

28:20

who's earning less could be the guy that is going to take you my favor you're cutting yourself can I just say that I

28:27

think that I understand both because I I sit in the middle because I think there's an element of there's this

28:34

narrative that women should just be hopeful and waiting and hopeful and take any guy that comes along as long as he's

28:39

nice as long as he's hard trying trying his best and maybe just maybe he'll be that guy that makes the money that

28:45

YouTube can be successful that's a narrative that's given to women because especially when we're trying to when they're trying to say like you don't

28:50

want to be single you're going to end up single if you don't take this guy so just stop trying to be so fussy stop having all these goals and and just take

28:57

this guy so I think there's an element of that where that's what I'm saying I'm not saying that's what you're saying but that can that's the kind of thing when

29:03

people say like okay 30k is my goal and that's wrong the point is you're setting a limit that

29:11

can cut off a blessing because you have a figure in your mind and that's not what it is it's not on a salary it's on

29:18

the qualities of the person it's on the building of the person yeah

29:23

that was that wasn't the framework of where she how she was asked it wasn't like an in-depth thing on to consider it

29:30

was just things it was just a quick no I get that I don't want her to be judged no no I'm talking generally it's not

29:38

about her it's when people have figures in their mind when they're like oh I need a six-figure man you're not

29:44

thinking of all of the other things that it takes to get there because you're missing out but then there's somebody

29:49

that's under that but the women that do want a six-figure man yeah and are striving for a six-figure man and understand that yes you might not you

29:56

might miss some people but you might still they some of them do still get that six figure man but they are in a

30:01

minority yeah that's the thing that's and that's when that rhetoric gets out there that this is something to Aspire

30:07

to you have to remember that it's a minority that hits that jackpot and the rest of everybody else who's striving

30:14

for that you're missing out on your blessing so

30:20

I don't know if they're missing out their blessing personally but I think that's what they want I think I think

30:26

it's always good to go for what you want do you know what I mean if that's what you want you should try and go for it

30:31

and I think you find the person that's on that way with you I think that's what's missing in all of this is like you can ask all the questions and

30:37

someone could have all the perfect answers and they still can be [ __ ] so there's all of that so there's someone that could have the money and

30:43

then the other thing yeah which I really really really like to tell young people is that I've dated I've dated so much in

30:50

my life yeah and I choose not to date these last couple of years because I was there I I dated the

30:57

struggling artist I dated the broke the broke good guy you know what I mean I

31:03

don't know I don't know if it's all that is cracked out to be do you know what I

31:08

mean I really don't know I would rather I would have rather had had a bit of

31:13

income do you know what this is oh there was something that came um oh I wish I could remember it properly but something about guys who

31:20

are broke are not something about the not they're not they've talked about how they're not

31:26

good today they shouldn't be dating because they're not good people to date with because men and money is a whole different narrative to women and they

31:31

should actually instead of getting angry with women who have got expectations work on themselves and remove yourself

31:36

from the dating people I don't think that was the overarching headline but there's something that we need like men need to look at instead of getting

31:42

offended about a woman that's aspirational and has goals in that respect how about take yourself out of

31:47

the dating pool or present honestly or if a woman is like you know what this is what my intention is I just don't think

31:53

it's super offended like I don't want to go yeah red pill world because I understand do you know what I mean but I think like just don't get super offended

31:59

if that's not what they want then next move on do you know what I mean and vice versa like if that's not what they want

32:04

next move on just don't take it so personally I just hate that when guys like she wants each like oh you're

32:10

you're gonna end up lonely and I mean yeah it's a projection I think that's a

32:15

valid thing like as a for anybody my nephews it would be like if you don't

32:21

have the means to do it don't they don't don't and don't take out on women just because you you know what I mean you don't have the means and you're not

32:27

going to be in the right frame of mind and most men aren't if you're not financially stable you're not in the right frame of mind leave people alone

32:33

yeah and there are women out there that don't mind they actually don't mind you

32:39

just don't you just want that one stop like do you know what I mean like

32:44

is that mean that you know I hate that you know that cartoon meme of the girl in the the high school girl and the high

32:49

school guy he's the geek and she's looking at the cheese with the baller yeah and then years later she's a single

32:55

mother and the ball and the geek is now like a super flying guy yeah like the billionaire of I can't stand that

33:00

because it's so misrepresentational it's like it's such a Euro gate you weren't you didn't have swag the guy had swag

33:06

and he got the girl that's all I really want him to be a study on like Geeks that have that are [ __ ] now in the

33:13

afternoon like I swear to God like it's there's a lot there's a lot because do

33:18

you guys you know have you ever had that feeling like because I suppose there's the whole glow up thing and stuff like

33:24

that do you ever feel like ah look at me now and do you have bitterness towards anyone that didn't like you for whatever

33:30

reason when you were younger and especially I don't know if anyone's had that stupid so maybe it's the wrong

33:35

example to use you guys an example but for someone who was maybe overlooked in their younger years and then had that

33:42

blow up in life whether it's financially or looks or whatever and now they're getting all the attention I don't know if you guys ever expected oh no Debbie

33:48

did that the other day actually Debbie hold Debbie so car I think her name is

33:54

um she's a comedian okay online and um she showed her glow-up pictures and she was like you know what it is is you want

34:00

to be with the person that invested in you because then they get their return so before I was ugly and she this is her

34:07

words she was bigger and she absolutely has had a glow up and now she's like a

34:13

super influencer and she shows the pictures and she's like so for the guys that were checking me then look at what

34:18

they've got now and this investment and she's like ugly ducklings always always turn into swamps yeah so we invest in the ugly

34:26

duckling because you will get a return in your investment it was like it was a good piece of that there was most people being like I'm there now and I had my

34:32

man for around 15 but yeah that is that I don't know I feel like I hear men talk

34:37

about that way more than me yeah I feel like men are a lot more bitter with it I don't know if it's I don't know about I don't I definitely

34:43

was an ugly duckling sure do you know I mean it means I laugh on The Souls of my

34:49

enemies I mean there's certain people yeah 100

34:54

yeah I would love to be like I remember yeah I do remember I do remember going

35:01

to a funeral of someone that passed and it was bro no no sorry it's facts went to a funeral or

35:07

something that passed and you know what an event you know that was a funeral but it was just the fact that it was one back in the end and there's some old

35:15

school guys and looking at them they looked they were the guys of the guys and they don't look so good guys sorry I

35:22

wasn't talking about guys personally no no I'm just saying just I'm just saying my scenario yeah and I had a few of those guys that definitely will didn't

35:29

pay me no mind back in the day we're like right is that you yeah in the way of their dressing to me and then he kind

35:35

of conversation like rad that's you yeah and I wasn't I never felt like but I did feel like

35:40

yeah that's me in it but look at you but you know what I mean you don't look so good again yes yes sometimes Fortune

35:47

doesn't no it doesn't go in the same favor no I just remember that girl like definitely girls like thinking they're

35:55

too nice and then yeah yeah that was like always not kind of like picked in

36:00

certain categories do you know what I mean so it's just like yeah I guess and life comes at people faster you know

36:07

like the estate hotties I mean you look back and then you see their life and it is like oh my God it wasn't favorable at

36:13

all and you know like some people didn't grow in their glue into their look no not at all they didn't well we were

36:20

celebrating back then it's like oh okay yeah you look at it it's like wowzers yeah life weren't easy yeah I thought

36:26

you was gonna ride this wave okay to be fair there's an element of smugness thing no there is yeah yeah no it's true

36:34

it's true yeah come to babe don't worry I'll send you a card don't worry

36:40

it's like haha some there are a few people that work they're a bit mean to me in high school I wonder if um they're

36:47

looking at me now it's not dwelling on me no they're probably look at your LinkedIn you'll

36:52

see he's looking at you mate yeah it's true true see who's like yeah or

36:58

you know like Facebook that's when people would like search you out and add you and stuff and then you could go and

37:04

look and be yeah okay yeah life ain't been too much like but also send us your

37:10

dilemmas and as your problems we'll try and resolve them as best we can um your aunties can never at gmail.com if you've

37:15

got any problems that you'd like us to solve please do send them through or DMS audiomas

37:21

yes if you want everyone knowing but okay bye